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HIGH SELF-ESTEEM (High self-esteem disorder)
But you need to think about high self esteem differently. Self esteem is more like paracetamol – the right amount will help you, but too much is a very bad idea indeed.
Truly low self esteem is a terrible thing; having the opinion that you yourself are worthless – are rubbish – is a condition no-one should have to endure. But high self esteem is a serious obstacle too, if not for you, then certainly for those around you.
Some characterstics of people with high self esteem are:
Being prone to self satisfied boasting
Tending to be smug and superior
Abusing relationships, assuming their needs come first in any situation. If this doesn’t happen, they will become angry and bullying
Adopting an air of superiority, simply because they have skill or luck in a particular area of life
Being blind to their own faults and so are unlikely to change or improve themselves
Tending to have impulse control problems
There is also now a wealth of evidence linking high self esteem to criminality.
I often hear clients suffering from real low self esteem compare themselves with the swaggering, loud uber-confident lad at their school, or the superman in their boardroom, but that does them no justice at all. I would much rather spend time with someone who has lower self esteem than someone with super-high self esteem – they are generally just nicer people!
Low self-esteem
We now know that all the ills of society cannot be blamed on low-self esteem (Prof Nicholas Emler - The Rowntree Report 2001). According to the latest research, low self esteem is not to blame for nearly as many problems as has traditionally been thought.
Characteristics of Genuinely Low Self Esteem
.Social withdrawal
.Anxiety and emotional turmoil
.Lack of social skills and self confidence. Depression and/or bouts of sadness
.Less social conformity
.Eating disorders
.Inability to accept compliments
.An Inability to see yourself 'squarely' - to be fair to yourself
.Accentuating the negative
.Exaggerated concern over what they imagine other people think
.Self neglect
.Treating yourself badly but NOT other people
.Worrying whether you have treated others badly
.Reluctance to take on challenges
.Reluctance to trust your own opinion
.Expect little out of life for yourself